When Potty Training Feels Like a Battlefield: Tips, Tricks & Letting Go of Pressure
by Brooke Abbott Abron

Everyone has that one friend. You know the one—her toddler was fully potty trained at 18 months, used sign language to ask for the potty, and hasn’t had an accident since. Meanwhile, the rest of us are over here negotiating with tiny humans like it’s the Geneva Convention… but with more pull-ups and less sleep.

Here’s the truth: potty training is not one-size-fits-all. It’s messy, it’s frustrating, and sometimes it’s laugh-out-loud ridiculous (usually after the fact). And that’s okay. Whether you’re just starting, deep in the trenches, or wondering if your kid is going to college in diapers, this one’s for you.

Signs Your Kiddo Might Be Ready (But No Pressure!)

Let’s start by throwing out the idea that there’s a “perfect” age for potty training. Some kids are ready at 18 months, some closer to 4 years old—and both are totally normal. The key is recognizing when your child is showing signs that they're ready to try.

Here are a few common indicators:

• Staying dry for 2+ hours at a time

• Showing interest in the toilet or watching others use it

• Hiding when they go in their diaper (hello, behind-the-curtain poopers!)

• Telling you they’ve gone or are about to go

• Disliking a wet or dirty diaper

• Can pull pants up/down independently

If your child isn’t showing most of these signs yet—no big deal. Pushing too early often leads to more resistance, accidents, and stress (for everyone). Wait until they’re ready, not when Instagram says they should be.

Real-Life Potty Training Strategies That Actually Work

So you’ve decided to give it a go—now what? Here are some tried-and-true methods that won’t make you want to hide in the pantry with a bag of Goldfish.

1. Prep the Space

Set up a toddler potty or a kid-friendly seat adapter in the bathroom. Add a stool for their feet to rest on (it helps with pushing). Keep wipes, extra clothes, and a small basket of books or toys nearby to make it feel like their own little potty corner.

2. Try the "Potty Schedule"

Take your child to the bathroom every 1–2 hours, and especially after meals or naps. Set timers if needed, and give them gentle reminders. No pressure—just “let’s try.”

3. Celebrate the Wins

Did they sit on the potty without crying? High five. Told you they had to go, even if it didn’t work out? Praise. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Stickers, stamps, or even a small treasure box can help make the process exciting.

4. Let Them Go Bare

If you're home for a day or two, let them go diaper-free (on easy-to-clean surfaces!). Sometimes, being able to “feel” the urge without a diaper helps them connect the dots. It’s messy, but effective.

5. Accidents Happen—Normalize It

Accidents aren’t setbacks—they’re part of the process. Keep calm, clean up, and move on. The more relaxed you are, the less pressure your child feels to get it “perfect.”

When It’s Not Working (And That’s Totally Okay)

Some kids try for a few days and suddenly get it. Others? Not so much. If potty training leads to meltdowns, anxiety, or complete refusal—it’s okay to press pause. Potty training isn’t a race. If it’s not clicking, back off and try again in a few weeks. You haven’t failed. You’re being responsive to your child’s needs, and that’s parenting done right.

Let Go of the Pressure

The daycare checklists, the unsolicited advice from strangers, the social media milestones—ignore them. Every child has their own rhythm, and comparison is the thief of joy and sanity.

You are not a bad parent if your kid isn't potty trained by 2. Or 3. Or if you used a diaper for a long car ride “just in case.” You’re a smart, loving parent who’s figuring it out—one tiny toilet flush at a time.

Potty Books & Tools We Love

• Potty by Leslie Patricelli – Silly, sweet, and toddler-approved. A great intro for littles just getting curious.

• Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi – A classic that normalizes potty talk in the best possible way.

• The First-Time Parent’s Guide to Potty Training by Jazmine McCoy, PsyD – A practical, no-judgment guide with real-life strategies that work for first-timers and seasoned caregivers alike.

• Waterproof mattress protector – Trust me, you need this. Maybe two. Accidents don’t follow a schedule.

• A small potty for every floor of your home – Because when they say they need to go, you’ve got approximately 12 seconds to make it happen.

• Portable potty seat – Great for outings or for giving your little one a boost of confidence when transitioning to the “big kid” toilet. It’s compact, easy to carry, and super helpful for public restrooms.

• Sticker chart or reward system – Motivation matters. Whether it’s a sticker, a stamp, or a dance party, celebrate those wins.

Potty training doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be fast. It just has to work for you and your child. So take a breath, pack some extra clothes, and remember—you’re not alone on this journey. We’re all just out here doing our best... with Lysol wipes in one hand and a juice box in the other.

With grace, giggles, and an extra pull-up in my purse,
Brooke Abbott Abron
Mama. Writer. Potty Training Survivor. Proud Giggles LA Contributor.

Brooke Abbott Abron for Giggles LA: Known as Crazy Creole Mommy online, Brooke is a mom, advocate, activist, babywearing educator, and writer. As the founder of IBDMoms, she combines practical tips, mom advice, and evidence-based insights from her own lived experience to help families navigate both the joys and challenges of parenting.